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Looking Glass: I think I’ve got a pretty solid case, your honor - Boston Herald

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A man, who was struck by a car while riding his bicycle in Nanaimo, British Columbia, sued the queen and the prime minister of England, the premier and the supreme court of British Columbia, Nanaimo Regional General Hospital and several other parties for $32 trillion and 500,000 shares of Tesla stock. He also demanded a private audience with Queen Elizabeth and the reconstruction of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. The case was thrown out.

WORST “MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE” CAPER EVER: A burglar got caught in the ceiling of a convenience store in Memphis, Tenn., and hung there for three hours before he crashed to the floor. He then stole two hats, a can of soda and a TV.

YES, OFFICER, I AM THAT GOOD: A woman who was arrested in Mesa, Ariz., for stealing a man’s car, told officers that he had given it to her in exchange for sex.

WHEW! GREAT DRUGS, DUDE: A police drug detection dog passed out from an overdose while sniffing for drugs in a stolen car in Huntsville, Ark. The animal received medical treatment and was returned to duty.

THAT WAS A GOOD REST … HEY, WHERE AM I? A man came out of the Club Lobos in Austin, Texas, at 5:37 in the morning and passed out in the back of his pickup truck. While he was sleeping, thieves stole the vehicle and drove it to Round Rock, where they abandoned it, and where he apparently woke up.

THEY CALL HER RENEGADE! A naked 24-year-old woman in a stolen Cadillac led state troopers on a high-speed chase at 110 mph down Interstate 75 through multiple counties in Florida. She was charged with grand theft auto, reckless driving, fleeing and eluding, possession of methamphetamine and driving with a suspended license.

A VERY SURPRISING MOVE: A heavily intoxicated one-legged man refused to leave a saloon in Dublin, Ohio, despite the bartender’s repeated demand, and then kicked a police officer who came to throw him out.

NOT SO FAST THERE, SONNY! The children of an elderly woman in Baramati, India, were about to light up her funeral pyre and cremate her because they thought she was dead when she suddenly woke up.

CAN’T YOU SEE, I’VE MOVED ON? In an effort to make her ex-boyfriend jealous, a woman in Frankfurt, Germany, faked an elaborate wedding, renting an exclusive reception hall and using her friends to play bridesmaids. She posed for pictures with her groom-for-hire which she posted to her Instagram, so her ex would see them. She said he texted her the next day, “and freaked out. He came to my house and wanted to talk. I wasn’t interested.”

DO YOU HAVE A FEELING OF “WELLNESS” NOW, COUNCILMAN? An Atlanta city councilman, who voted to withhold $73 million of the police department’s budget, was attending a ribbon-cutting ceremony when several young men stole his car right in front of him. The councilman, who wants to restructure the city’s police agencies and create a department focused on “wellness,” held onto the vehicle and was dragged about a block down the road before letting go.

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May 30, 2021 at 04:23AM
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Looking Glass: I think I’ve got a pretty solid case, your honor - Boston Herald
"case" - Google News
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